So, I’m back. 2018 has started off great. That thing back on the 1st was probably due to interrupting my sleep schedule. I’m trying to wake up earlier in the morning which results in having to go to sleep earlier in the evening. So, staying awake past midnight would definitely disrupt a sleep schedule.
Anyways, on to the topic of this post: I’ve recently gotten into a group playing D&D. I can reply to those messages later, but I’ll stick with what I want to talk about. We have two ways of communicating with each other: a group text message and a Discord server. Numerous times (like even though I haven’t been keeping track, it feels like this is this person’s viewpoint of me) has one person (let’s call him A) that hasn’t necessarily been treating me the best. For example, yesterday, he jokingly referred to one of the other group members as “mom,” but I didn’t realize this after he made it apparent. I was trying to defend the position of another person in the group (the same person who was referred to as “mom”) and pointed out that person’s point of view (that I was defending). I then told him that I understood this. He then said “Really? Do you? Because despite all of your knowledge we’re still having this conversation. Crazy.”
This friend group includes two people who know I’m on the spectrum (or at least have been told). I’m not sure if one of them let on that I’m on the spectrum, or what the situation is on their side. My friends who do know about my Aspergers have not said anything to him (at least in the group chat, they may have said something in a private message or something). I did ask them to keep it quiet, and I haven’t approached anyone about this.
That’s the problem with me. A lot of the time, I don’t share my feelings or problems with anyone. Even if you aren’t religious or whatever, you should still find someone to share your problems with. But that’s the exact problem: I don’t trust anyone enough initially to do that. Thus when they break my fake trust, I don’t get disappointed for long because I saw this happening eventually. (This just got pessimistic fast)
In any case, I think the best course of action would be to talk to either of my friends who know I’m on the spectrum. They have no idea that this affected me, so if I don’t tell them, they won’t know. They’ll at least be able to give advice or help with the situation.